Living in Bristol is pretty sweet. We love it here, but transitioning to life in the ‘burbs after eight years of city centre living has been quite an adjustment. Exeter may be little more than a glorified town, but our home was right in the thick of it.
We could walk to the main shopping area in under ten minutes and we were a stone’s throw from Cathedral Green in one direction and the picturesque quayside in another. Our prime location also meant we were within easy reach of a multi-screen cinema, a swimming pool, major supermarkets, cafes, restaurants, a butcher, baker, greengrocer and fishmonger. Everywhere we ever needed to be was a leisurely stroll away, and if it wasn’t at least the central bus station was only down the road. I like walking and I did plenty of it in Exeter.
Things are a little different now and for the first time in my life I have an urge to drive. Only problem is, I can’t. I don’t know how. I’ve never learnt.
Growing up in the capital, I didn’t ever feel the need. For all its flaws, London’s public transport system is pretty awe inspiring. You can climb on a tube in deepest, darkest East London and slowly but surely make your way across the sprawling metropolis to a far flung destination in leafy West London. You can travel from one suburb to another with relative ease. Sure, there’s traffic and commuters and strikes, but London’s transport system makes sense. There is logic and order amidst the chaos and I’ve always enjoyed the feeling of satisfaction that comes from finding a route across the city.
So, at 30 years and 5 months of age, I am unable to drive. The funny thing is, my parents generously gave me lessons for my birthday when I was 17. I never claimed them though, and when my younger sister came of age four years later, my parents bought them back and gave them to her. She’s been driving for years now.
To be honest, the thought of learning fills me with dread. I am a resolute passenger and an accomplished pedestrian, but I have never paid attention to what a driver does and I don’t have the first clue about how to operate a car. Beyond putting the key into the ignition, I’m clueless. I’m confident I’ll be practically useless and I pity the instructor that ends up with me as their pupil.
That said, I think I’m finally ready to rise to the challenge. So great is my frustration at being unable to just bundle my children into a car and head off towards any given destination, I’ve found the drive {pardon the pun} to learn. I’m terrified, but ready. Those of you local to Bristol might just want to stay off the road for a while.
When did you learn to drive? Any words of encouragement for me?
Love Audrey xxx
I feel your pain…! I’m 31 and currently having lessons, in Exmouth, but the test centre us in Exeter so lots of scary big roundabouts to contend with!
I have a very lovely lady as my driving instructor and that helps hugely… I can drive, but I have no confidence in myself or the entire process, which doesn’t help matters! But getting there slowly!!
Good luck! xx
Thanks Charlie. Part of me wishes I’d learnt in Exeter as I’m sure the roads are quieter than in Bristol. Although my Mum says it’s good to learn in a big city as you’ll have dealt with everything {apart from long, winding country roads I guess}.
xxx
I am so glad you wrote this post. I’m 28 and I have my first driving lesson on Saturday. Almost everyone I know who is around my age is driving apart from me. I have put it off for years for a variety of reasons (financial, fear etc) but now I know I need to do it cos if I don’t do it now I never will.
Good luck with it, I hope it doesn’t take you too long to learn x
And good luck to you Clare, we can do it!
xxx
Yes we can! Positive thinking and all that 🙂
Make sure you keep us up to date with your progress.
I’m learning with LDC who have instructors across the country. They also give you a workbook to work through before and after lessons so I’m hoping that will help. They might be good for you too x
As a teenager I always though how difficult it must be to drive, but then one day when I was 16, my uncle let me try and it wasn’t as hard as I thought. Two years later when I was old enough to learn and make exam, everthing went smooth because I didn’t have any fears.
You can do it. It might be scary for the first few hours, but let your will be stronger than your fear!
I hope you’re right Kristina! Thank you for the enouragement.
xxx
I’m 38 and don’t drive (yet) i had lessons and an exam 11 yrs ago and failed, at that time i didn’t like it at all! I have have 2 kids and the youngest is 5, i never felt the need to learn how to drive, until a few years ago. I’ve been putting it of for years, but i finally had my first lesson a week ago and it wasn’t to bad at all! I feel ready and really want to do this! We can do it! I’m dreaming of little trips to Ikea already lol! Go for it! 🙂
Good, you can do the joyriding in future.
I hear you. I took a test and failed at 18 and resolved to never go back. Now, at the grand old age of 36 (another 18 years on!) i feel i need to bite the bullet. I keep putting it off but i have to do it! Scary but lets go for it Franky 🙂
Learning is definately terrifying – my mum still says taking her driving test is the scariest thing she has ever done. You won’t be good at every part of it, it took me several weeks to get the car into the third gear (!) but I got parallel parking on the first try. I also took 4 practical tests to pass but passed my theory only one mark off full marks – on the other hand I have a lot of friends who passed their practical first time but had to retake their theory! I also know someone who passed in 4 months whereas it took me just over a year. The instructors will have seen everything so there’s nothing you can do to shock them. Just have belief and you will be fine 🙂 also in regards to the theory, you should see if your local library gives you access to the practice tests online because I know mine does but don’t know if this is a countrywide thing.
Hi Franky,
As Nike would say, just do it! You’ll be fine.
And as someone who took 6 times to pass their test, I know how frustrating learning can be. But trust me, it is worth every minute of learning.
x
I finally passed my driving test when I was 29 and six months pregnant with Lucas. I could barely get behind the wheel! I would say that it is 80% physical and the rest is confidence that you can do it. Make sure you get your instructor to help you perfect parking in bays as well as parallel parking into tiny spaces since parking is often tricky in Bristol. Best of luck to you!
I was a late learner too, at 22! Now I’m 33, with a baby and I’m grateful every day that I can drive. It’s scary at first and believe me, I was terrified, but you will soon pick it up. Once you pass your test, it actually becomes a lot easier as you don’t feel under so much pressure and you can actually enjoy driving. It will become second nature in no time. Definitely do it, it’s a whole new freedom! Good luck! X
No one knows how to operate a car before they have lessons! Before you know it driving will be second nature. I have a friend who passed her test at 17 but never drove until she had kids at 30. A year or so later she was driving a 4×4 ! It’s just mind over matter. Good luck! Get on with it 🙂 x
I was thirty when I learned. I t was far harder I think, being older, I was much more cautious and slow with the whole process…so glad I did though!
I agree with your mum about it being best to learn in a city. When I was a teenager I could not afford lessons, and finally took the plunge when I was on maternity leave after the birth of my first child. Legend has it that you need one hour of tuition for each year of your age, and I guess that’s about right. I passed first time, one month short on my 29th birthday, having had 29 hours of lessons (and one change of instructor as the first one was rubbish!). My test was the last of the day … getting dark!… in rain… on a 5th of January, in Barnet, and I uttered one expletive during the test. My ex-husband was dumbfounded when I returned triumphant to our north London flat. He had passed on his 3rd attempt; young men often take the test before they are ready!
I drove happily around London for 12 years. No real worries as nothing ever happens at high speed in town. On moving to the deepest part of the East Anglian Fens I had a minor melt-down due to fear of speeding farmers, tractors, and no street lights.
All i can say is ‘Go for it’! xxx
I failed 4 times when I was 18 (the first time was a silly mistake and the other three attempts I was so nervous that I just couldn’t think straight!) I’ve always vowed that I would never try again as I don’t need to drive as I’m a city girl through and through! We’ve recently started considering a move out to the countryside and after my best friend moved out at the beginning of this year it looks like I might have to give it another try! I do genuinely know how to drive, I was fine during all of my lessons – it’s just getting over the fear of the test that’s standing in my way!
I know exactly how you feel, I put off learning for years. I started learning shortly before my 30th, passed a year (and a bit) later, first time. In all honesty there were days when I got back from a terrible lesson and I felt like giving up but I am so glad I didn’t. Buying a house and getting married didn’t change my life anywhere near as much as passing my driving test. It is the single best thing I have ever done and I’m kicking myself for not doing it sooner. I wish you so much luck with your lessons. Be sure to keep us posted on how you get on please x
My experience is the opposite to yours – I grew up in darkest Devon, where driving was a bit of a necessity. Having tried (and failed!) to learn at 17, I put it off while I was at uni and it wasn’t until I was 23 that I finally bit the bullet and passed my test. I moved to London the very next day, where I’ve lived ever since without a car and without ever having to drive! I have the licence but feel unqualified to use it after a 7 year hiatus! I completely understand the fear factor but good on you for cracking on with learning – i’m sure you’ll be great. It’s all about confidence I gather (if only I could get some myself!) x
You will be ABSOLUTELY fine Franky, honestly.
I was dubbed the worlds worst learner, was told i’ll never pass my test, I was unconfident, I went around a roundabout the wrong way, I didn’t understand road signs and I felt terrified being in charge of other people’s safety. The day of my test my instructor told me I would never pass…. Guess what. I did first time 3 errors!!!! xxxxxx
Hi ya,
I didn’t learn to pass my test until I was 26 and my best piece of advice is get an instructor you can trust and feel comfortable with.
I went through quite a few until I found one that didn’t terrify me and once I got that nut cracked I was motoring in no time.
It’s all about confidence and you need to find someone who gives you that and don’t feel bad for sacking someone off because it’s not working for you.
Also when it comes to the theory, don’t buy into the all the test books etc, just get a copy of the highway code and read it.
Good luck with it, I’m sure you’ll be grand
I passed my test at 20, but didn’t actually get a car until I was 23, and for some reason that gap really knocked my confidence. I was terrified of driving, and would do anything to avoid going out in the car. I’ve started to learn now though that unfortunately, my dad was right – the only way to get better is just to do it! I drive everywhere now. Well, everywhere but the motorway. Still not quite brave enough for that!
The best bit of advice I would have is not to get too fixated on passing the first test. I did, and was so nervous I messed it up in the first 5 minutes. It’s a bonus not having to fork out for multiple tests, but passing the first time is really not the be-all-and-end-all. And don’t go for the cheapest Sat-Nav. That is how I accidentally ended up driving through Wolverhampton City Centre in tears…
I’ve had a licence since I was 17 but have driven so infrequently in the last decade that now I have a car again I feel I am learning again (with my precious cargo in the back no less!). It’s good to learn in the environment which you will then be driving in, I learnt in a small town and feel ill prepared for driving in London now which is why I have lost a bit of confidence.
Like you, I relied on the good old London public transport (like you say, for all it’s faults it is pretty useful) but then I moved to Wales, a little tiny village in Wales where everything is about a million miles away on public transport (public transport that is crazily expensive and not the regularity that I’m used to from the city) so learning drive seems like a good idea. The problem, the idea of learning to drive terrifies me. I’m worried for the others on the road!! I’ll be brave at some point, just now isn’t my time.
Good luck with your learning!! Being able to drive definitely has a lot of pros.
🙂
Fortunately when I was at film school at the start of our final year our lecturers made it clear that they expected us to graduate with a full driving licence. Their perfect logic was although we were all aspiring Spielberg’s and Lucas’s, that in reality we would be trainee assistants if lucky and runners if not. No one will care about your student film but they will care or not if you can drive! So using part of the money I had worked the previous 3 summers to accumulate for my graduation films budget I went to BSM instead. 10 weeks later I was lucky enough to pass first attempt, however after 7 years of motoring I discovered the joys of the automatic and I’ve tried to avoid gears ever since. If you have any opportunity to go auto I would, especially if your driving is going to be mainly in towns and cities. It still seems crazy to me that in a geared car as you approach a roundabout or junction that you start to take one hand OFF the wheel… My sister-in-laws husband has just started to learn to drive aged 58, so far he has done 5 lessons but has just decided to switch to taking the remainder of his course in an auto. On a final note, regardless of which you decide, I know one thing about you Franky… you always succeed.
I learned to drive when I was 16 & I was totally freaked out about it too! But (where I lived at the time) there wasn’t really any reliable public transportation. And walking wasn’t really an option as nothing was close by.
Just think of how convenient it will be to be able to drive! Don’t overthink it- you’ll do just fine. 🙂 good luck!!