I’d been planning to write about rest for a long time. Not about briefly slowing down after a busy season, or occasional moments of downtime in an otherwise hectic schedule, but about small, significant ways to make life more restful in general.

I thought I had a lot to say on the subject, and that I’d say it well, but it turns out Mel Wiggins has already said it all far better than I ever could.

‘Our culture isn’t a big promoter of rest is it? We are often encouraged to hustle, to do more, have more, be more. Work harder, faster, stronger, longer – achieve achieve achieve.  On the other hand, rest can sometimes sound like this elusive thing that is only ever achievable if you have no responsibilities or ambition… I don’t think either of these binary ways of thinking are helpful or healthy. There is burnout waiting around the corner and rest happening from a place of burnout is not rest. It is recovery. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to recover from my life.’ – Mel Wiggins, Operating from a Place of Rest

From my late teens {when I started working full-time} until my early 30s, I constantly swung between extreme busyness and forced periods of rest due to burnout and exhaustion. From 14-hour days working in retail to my final year as an undergrad at uni {when I was pregnant with Jesse and working part-time}, I always pushed my body to its limit. Then, when it could no longer take anymore, it would finally force me to stop completely.

There was never any middle-ground. No happy medium. Doing too much, aiming high and pushing myself as hard as possible in absolutely every area of my life became part of my identity. In and of themselves, these things aren’t bad, but when you wear them like a badge of honour and pursue them at the expense of your overall health and wellbeing, they can cause serious problems.

These habits had a huge impact when I contracted flu and eventually developed Chronic Fatigue Syndrome {CFS}. They’ve also made healing and recovery incredibly challenging.

Learning to Rest

‘So now I wonder if rest is something that you can inhabit rather than do. I wonder if rest is actually a state that you can embrace and operate from rather than resort to. I wonder if it’s less about stopping but is actually about adopting a different way of moving in the world that is less frantic, fearful and unnecessarily busy.’ – Mel Wiggins, Operating from a Place of Rest

Even now, almost two years on from my original CFS diagnosis, pausing to rest doesn’t come naturally to me. I’m not convinced it ever will.

However, I’ve got better at slowing down, doing less overall and listening to my body long before it crashes and burns. I’ve made a concerted effort to simplify my life, reducing the number of things that demand my time and energy. I’m learning to say no and I’m trying to be kinder to myself.

Here are a few things I do to live a more restful life…

  • Giving myself the time and space to do things slowly. Rushing is so overrated.
  • Refusing to overschedule myself. I now aim to have lots of empty weekends in my diary.
  • Adding small, simple, non-negotiable acts of self-care to my daily to-do list {e.g. five minutes of meditation, a nourishing meal, an early night}.
  • Recognising and letting go of obligations and responsibilities that seem like external expectations but are in fact self-generated and self-imposed.
  • Learning not to base feelings of self-worth on my levels of productivity.

For me, rest has become a necessity. I can’t function if I don’t make it a priority. I suspect I’ll always wrestle with the old version of myself who liked to live at 100mph, but I’m learning to love the way the world looks now I’ve slowed down long enough to take it all in.

Love Audrey xxx

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Love Audrey
In Defense of Rest
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May in photos 🤳

1. Finally, some Franky weather. One of the best things about this month has been dusting off my summer dresses and being able to wear sandals ☀️

2+3. Coronation weekend. So many thoughts 💭 But the food was good! I made a vegan version of my mum’s famous coronation chicken and it was delicious.

4. Jesse staying upbeat during yet another trip to hospital. That steroid buzz though. IYKYK.

5. Some of the food served at the first meeting of Bristol Cook Book Club since 2020. It felt so good to get this going again. I can’t wait for our next feast!

6. Me among the cow parsley, snapped by Jesse.

7. I’ve been thinking about creativity a lot this month while working through the ‘The Artist’s Way’. 

8. Breakfast outside.

9. {Still} scrapbooking December. Fingers crossed I can finally wrap up this project in June 🤞🏻

10. Izzy’s final show at The Tobacco Factory. After tonight, she’ll be done with college {and compulsory education} forever 🤯

We packed a lot into this month. Enough to fill two carousels! This might explain why I’m so tired! I’m looking forward to June though. Everything’s better when the sun shines ✨
@_charlieswift has been raving about ‘The Artist’s Way’ by Julia Cameron for years. I finally caved, ordered the book and agreed to work through the course with her and some other artists. 

The book focuses on ‘guiding you through the process of recovering your creative self’ to ‘help you unleash your inner artist’. It’s early days {I’ve only read as far as week two and I haven’t even started my morning pages yet - IYKYK}, but I’m enjoying the process so far. 

Today I took myself on my first Artist Date - ‘a block of time… especially set aside and committed to nurturing your creative consciousness, your inner artist’. I decided to treat myself to a solo cinema trip to see ‘Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret.’ The film was brilliant and taking time out midweek to do something just for me felt… kind of naughty? And fun! It definitely filled my creative well {again, IYKYK}.

Have you read ‘The Artist’s Way?’ Where would you go on a date with your inner artist?!
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Franky weather ☀️🌅🔆🌻✨

That’s it, that’s the caption.
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April in photos 🤳

1. Our trip to London over Easter was a definite highlight this month. Here’s the obligatory ‘flowers outside Liberty’ shot.

2. Finally! Some sunshine! More of the same please, Mr. Weatherman ☀️

3. Dressed for a day of sightseeing in my new favourite pink jacket. It’s Boden and I bought it in the sale 💖

4 + 5. Scenes from a trip to the big Waterstones in Piccadilly. This poem by @charlycox1 floored me. Crying in a bookshop. Not awkward at all.

6. I was proud of these steps, so I’m posting them here for posterity 🚶🏼‍♀️🥄

7. The Easter holidays also featured lots of lazy days 🎮😴

8. We bought a nutribullet and I’m officially in my smoothie era.

9 + 10. Dinner and drinks at @thecoconuttreeuk with our IzzyBee. Taking your daughter out for cocktails is a season of parenting I’m very much enjoying.

Not pictured: a family funeral and the chest infection I’m still getting over 🤒 How was April for you?
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Easter weekend in my hometown 💃🏼

No trip to London is long enough for me to see all the people and do all the things I want to do while I’m there, but we always manage to pack a lot in. It’s 17 years since I moved away, but somehow it still feels like coming home. Here’s some of what we got up to…

1. Being tourists.

2. Shopping at Westfield.

3 + 4. Hanging out and eating at Southbank.

5. Refuelling in Chinatown.

6. Enjoying the big Waterstones in Piccadilly.

7. Admiring the spring flowers outside Liberty.

8. Visiting the Imperial War Museum for the first time since I was a child.

9 + 10. Seeing Elton John at the O2 with my mama 👓🎹🎤🪩✨

I hope you’ve managed to enjoy the long weekend, whatever you’ve been up to! That sunshine though!☀️🤩
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March in Photos 🤳

1. How it’s going…

2. How it started.

3. My in-laws were involved in a terrible car crash earlier this month. They’re very, very lucky to be alive. It was a horrible time, so I’m grateful there was a happy ending.

4. My husband sent me this photo of a photo from our wedding day while he was visiting his parents. Turns out his mum carries it in her purse ❤️

5. While I was waiting for news from Derby, I took myself out on a walk and ended up in @thesmallcitybookshop. It was like my feet knew books would bring me comfort.

6 + 7. Just spring things.

8. Vegan lemon and almond loaf and a green smoothie from @theorchardcoffeeco 🍰🌱

9. I bought it 🌸

10. Other music? I don’t know her. 

How’s March been treating you? Personally, I’m ready for April and spring PROPER!
There is a past version of me who cannot believe I get to do this every day 💭📝💻

She’s around 12yrs old, working on her first novel in a little ring-bound notebook, dreaming up stories, devouring books and trying to imagine a life filled with words. Everything that makes my business possible now barely existed then, so even she’d struggle to conjure up  an image of what my life looks like now.

I’m grateful that I get to do this, for the clients who trust me to find the right words, and I’m grateful to that past version of me too. Without her, I wouldn’t be here now. Sure, she’d probably want me to hurry up and get back to that novel, but I think she’d be proud of the business I’ve built and the way I’ve managed to create a life filled with words.

What did you want to be when you grew up?
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Lockdown memories, three years on 🦠⏳

Very little of my life made it on to the grid in 2020, so this is the first time I’ve shared these images. They’re all from the first lockdown and most were taken between March and May. I think the arrival of spring will always remind me of this strange time.

When Boris made his announcement on the 23rd, our children had already been out of school for a week. Jesse, who was initially deemed clinically vulnerable, spent the next 6m shielding. He left primary school one day not realising he’d never go back. He did not see another child his age until the summer. Like many kids and adults in the same situation, the experience had a deep impact on his mental health. 

Izzy was in Year 10. As the pandemic raged on, she did most of her GCSEs online, celebrated her 16th birthday via Netflix Party, finished secondary school with minimal fanfare and missed out on prom completely. When she finally had a normal night out with friends in the winter of 2021, I cried quietly in the kitchen when she got home. Seeing her so happy and animated after a simple ‘cheeky Nando’s’ only highlighted everything she’d missed out on in the previous 18 months.

It’s easy to forget how little we knew about the virus in the beginning and how frightening that was for everyone involved. We had it easy in comparison to some, but I still marvel at the way we coped with it all. The way we isolated, home schooled and kept our businesses ticking over. My goodness it was hard! As my children often joke, I hope we’re done living through major historical events for a while.